Holding Out Hope

“I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night

He’s gotta be strong, he’s gotta be fast

And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero ’til the morning light

He’s gotta be sure, he’s gotta be soon

And he’s gotta be larger than life, larger than life”

-Holding out for a Hero, Ella Mae Bowen

So, this is a song that is a remake, which you all probably know that by the title. The thing I love about this version is that I feel it captures the true emotion behind the words. Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about hope and what it means to have it. I think hope is so important, but many of us lose it because we become jaded by our experiences.

Every year, probably since I turned 18, my birthdays have been pretty awful. I’ve been dumped, I’ve had people I care about forget, I’ve been really sick. You name it; the dumbest, little things have messed up my birthdays. The thing is, I still love birthdays. Every year I find myself counting down the days, saying “this year is going to be the best birthday yet, its actually gonna be fun this year.”

Hope

[Noun]

The feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best:

That may be a good example of having hope, but the thing is so many of us lose hope. We let our past experiences determine how we view future endeavors. We shouldn’t do that. In letting our past define our future, our mistakes, our hurts, and our failures tend to take the forefront of our minds. We spend too much of our time and energy focusing on the negative that we almost can’t even comprehend that good things will happen. We put ourselves in a mindset of skepticism.

I have a very dear friend who was talking to me about the hurt they experienced in relationships, to which it sounded like they had almost completely given up hope that love is real. That broke my heart to almost the point of tears. The only thing that kept running through my mind was the fact that no matter how many times we’ve been hurt, it doesn’t mean that the people who hurt us were right. I’ll be the first to admit that I forget that on the regular, but if I can say it out loud, then at least its somewhere in the vaults of my mind.

Think for a moment, if hope wasn’t even a thing? We’d all be walking around like Eyore from Whinnie the Pooh. Instead of searching for rainbows and pots of gold we’d have these little rain clouds following us around. Dude, that would suck! Let me just say, nobody wants to hang out with someone who’s always moping around. The thing is were all going to have bad days, but those bad days shouldn’t define you and they definitely shouldn’t be the only things you focus on.

Hope is easily lost, but getting it back happens in an instance. When you get it back is like when you’re at the mall and you walk into Urban Outfitters and that thing you’ve been eyeing for 3 months is actually on the sale rack and you get an extra 20% off. Let me tell you, that’s a HECK YEAH moment!

Something crucial about that example is what’s implied by reading between the lines. The whole time you go to Urban and look around, there’s a piece of you holding out hope; you wouldn’t keep going back to something if you didn’t slightly believe the outcome would change. That’s what’s really neat about the concept of hope; even when it seems to be lost, there’s a slight glimmer in the future. Hope makes truly giving up almost impossible.

Romans 5:2-5 (ESV)

“Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

I really love that hope sort of forces you to look for the best in everything; it forces you to be positive, hope also requires patients, which is another reason we want to give up on it and it’s hard to hang onto.

Romans 8:25 (ESV)

“But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.”

I will be redundant and say it again, I love that; hope forces you to search after God and be positive.

I leave you all with this, hold out hope. Never give up. You are amazing and there is always a sunset at the end of the day. Look for the beauty and you will find it.

XoXo,

Brunette Adventurer

Slightly OBSESSED

“You will never influence the world by trying to be like it.”

If you’ve been around in the 21^st century I’m sure you’ve heard that quote, especially if you’ve spent a lil’ minute being involved in the church. Here’s the thing, that’s a great quote and it’s very true. The only way to influence someone is if you come at it from a different perspective. I just have one problem, the fact that we are obsessed, and I’m talking OBSESSED, with being different but when we don’t fit in or people don’t respond to us the way we want and expect them to, we feel hurt and abandoned.

We expect people to be our end-all be-all; even then we may just subconsciously make them our “everything.”

This past weekend I fasted social media because that’s where I spend a lot of my time and I realized something about myself, that I sort of knew before but in fasting it became very apparent. I put way too much of my faith and hope into people.

Trusting people is not a bad thing, but relying on them fully is a bad thing.

I am a highly communicative person; I always am texting, calling, or writing a letter to someone. I realized this weekend that if I was not the one going out of my way to talk to those people only 1 or 2 of them regularly talked to me. At first, well most of the weekend, I was pretty upset about this. I felt abandoned, like how could they be like this; if I’m always seeing how they’re doing but they cant take 5 minutes to ask me what’s up? I was legitimately very hurt and feeling, for lack of a better word, abandoned. It’s a really good thing that Jesus has placed some amazing people in my life to tell me how it is.

In my distress I couldn’t even figure out the root of my disdain, but a few of my lovely friends were like “dude, it’s ‘cuase you’re misplacing your trust. You think every one is going to do exactly what you do and do what you want them to, and you hold out hope that it will happen and when it doesn’t you get upset. Your trust is in the wrong place!”

Psalm 118:8 (ESV)

“It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.”

I’m sitting over here trying to be different and what not and in doing that I am letting myself down because I’m misplacing my trust. I’m trying to influence people based out of my own desires and my own will, which is literally impossible.

Galatians 6:3 (ESV)

“For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.”

There it is, in my pride I put my trust in the wrong thing. After all, our control is only and illusion.

So, what am I doing to stop letting my heart get in a jumble because of my pride?

I’m praying that God helps me see where my true worth, hope, trust, and joy lie. Instead of saying God take this away from me, I’m praying that he uses it to show me the truth in a real way. I believe that Gods going to use my misplaced trust as a way to ignite a passionate romance between my creator and me.

Psalm 9:10 (ESV)

“And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.”

So there it is, in black and white, while trying to be different from the world I put my trust in it. I am a big ol’ screw up, and you know what, that’s totally ok.

I know this may not be as humorous as some of my other posts; I’ll try to work on my comically pleasing writing, but I hope this shows you real life. You are simply amazing; you are a life changer and its only Tuesday, so I know you’re going to have a great week.

XoXo,

Brunette Adventurer

Breed & Manufacture

Insecurities manufacture jealousy.

Look around at almost any situation, and see that people who have visible insecurities in how they carry themselves are pretty much just jealous. But you know what? Insecurity doesn’t come without comparison.

Earlier today while meandering around various social media sites I cam across a post that was a quote that has been stuck in my head since I read it.

“Insecurity is wrong security exposed.” – Bill Johnson

Now reading this quote it just sticks in my mind because, if I’m being honest my insecurities and jealousy have been something I’ve really been dealing with lately. Even this morning while driving to church and listening to some worship music, jealous thoughts were rambling around in my mind.

I’m jealous of my friends for their success and talents, I’m jealous of my sister and brother for their relationships, and I’m jealous of random people because of countless reasons. The thing is, this list is pretty long, I could list our specifics and blah, blah, blah, but that would be redundant and boring.

As I lay in bed at night trying to figure out why I’m not good enough or whatever, I’ve come to the conclusion that comparison breeds insecurity, which in-turn manufactures jealousy. And you can quote me on that; think about it and I think you’ll see why I use those exact words.

“Comparison breeds insecurity which in-turn manufactures jealousy.”

One thing about myself, I’m pretty big on word meanings and definitions; I constantly utilize dictionary.com for knowledge and for fun. So that bring me to why the word breed and manufacture are so important in this exact context.

Breed

[breed]

verb (used with object), bred, breeding

to develop by training or education; bring up; rear:

Manufacture

[man-yuh–fak-cher]

verb (used with object), manufactured, manufacturing

to invent fictitiously; fabricate; concoct:

As we can read there, straight out of the dictionary, is the precise reason I chose those words; breeding is done by bringing up and manufacturing is done by inventing or fabrication. When reading those definitions fully you might be slightly confused, but when you actually read the words and place them together it makes total sense.

We are trained by society to compare ourselves to others; we compete for everything, practically since the day we are born. In preschool we are awarded for being better than others and we are told to look at the kids who are better than us and then see what we can do to improve. That is comparison; we are brought up being compared to one another. In some cases this may be helpful because it may help you improve because if there is no comparison how can we know such things as right from wrong, but in some cases all it does is harm. We grow up with this idea of whom we should be and we are compared to that idea on a daily basis, and then we are told that we don’t match it so we aren’t good enough. Being told such things so often make you feel less than amazing, and when you feel less than amazing all of those places where you put who you are become insecurities.

Much like the quote above those insecurities are false securities. If we put all of our faith in our looks, our talents, our friends, our family, our jobs, our health, etc. then when those things are taken away from us they become our insecurities.

When we look around and someone has something that you assume you are lacking, that you think would vastly improve your life, you become jealous. I can say, with out a doubt, that I am suffering from jealousy of romantic relationships. I hate, hate, hate to admit that because I’m going to post this on the inter-webs, people I know are going to read this and then learn that I’m insecure in that area. A lot of times I question if any man that I’m interested in will ever be interested in me or treat me like I matter (like besides my family, cause they’re amazing, but that’s different.) It kind of sucks to realize that I was putting my security in the idea of that, that it’s become an insecurity, which stems from all the other ones I carry about my looks and my personality and so fourth, but you get it.

I sit here writing and getting my thoughts on paper and realizing that I’m this crazy person, only to be brought back to exactly what I should have looked to for my security in the first place; the Bible.

I, we, sit around thinking that we aren’t such and such or so and so, so we aren’t good enough or that we don’t matter and then we think if I was just her/him or I had that then it would be better, but that’s not true at all. We were all created with our own, specific purpose, which is not defined by what we think we should be or have. God designs who we are in our perfect imperfections, and since he’s God, there’s no way you’re a mistake.

Ephesians 2:10 (ESV)

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

Matthew 10:31 (ESV)

“Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.”

We seriously sit around being jealous for no reason at all; God made us the way we are because we have our own purpose. Who knows, maybe if I was dating somebody right now I would be missing out on one of the biggest opportunities of my life, but I probably wont even know that till I’m like 90 or in heaven. Either way, I will say, it is still really freaking hard to remember that when I see the people around me all happy and cute while I sit on my phone on Pintrest or petting dog, but at the end of the day this is what’s going to turn out best in the long run because I know God is in charge. But like I said, it’s still really freaking hard. Haha.

Situations that are tough tend to turn out to be the most rewarding though, when you over come them. And oh my gosh right now, I practically wrote a novel, it’s getting past my bed time so I should stop…

I love you all, stop being jealous and insecure and what have you, you’re amazing just the way you are. Have a fantastic week!

XoXo,

Brunette Adventurer

Big Dreams

There are so many thoughts running through my head on what I should write about. Its almost as if I had left myself a path with breadcrumbs and each crumb is an idea, the only problem with that is, I can’t seem to get to exactly what my heart longs for me to say.

All of that being said, I know one thing for sure, I’m utterly terrified of my dreams coming to fruition; I’M TERRIFIED. There are so many questions running through my mind at all times – is this my dream or Gods dream in me? Am I even capable of doing this? Am I good enough? How the heck will this even come to be? – The list is endless, it could probably wrap around the world like 6 times and still keep going.

We live in this society where peoples dreams only come true because they “get lucky,” or where everybody is telling you that you can change the world but nobody actually believes you can. Telling someone they’re capable and that you believe in them is great, but until you give them a chance to prove themselves its essentially just a lovely idea. I think that’s what’s scary, our dreams are so big that we can’t see how they’ll be accomplished and you have all of these people telling you you’re amazing, but not actually giving you the chance to rise to the occasion.

There’s a quote that says something like “if your dream doesn’t scare you then its not big enough, because if you don’t need God its pointless.” I could be totally off on that quote but it makes sense.

If we look in the bible or throughout history, that’s what we see, people relying fully on God to accomplish their dreams. I mean look at Sarah, God promised her a son and she didn’t have him till she was 90 (see Genesis 18-21) Look at Michael Jordan one of the best NBA players in history, he got cut from his first team and took years of practice and now every one looks up to him and he’s a house hold name.

Real dreams are not easy, they require you to work hard, they require you to make sacrifices, they require you to not rely on your own strength, and most of all they require you to put everything you have in what God can do in every situation.

Matthew 6:33 (ESV)

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Honestly that’s the most amazing part of having big dreams, you have to rely totally on God for anything good to even happen in the long run. There is a plethora of scriptures that just solidify that fact, too.

Ephesians 3:20 (ESV)

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,”

Hold up! Before you think I’m done, I’M NOT!

What about the whole not feeling good enough or worth it or all that nonsense or even knowing that the dreams are from God?! Well, that’s all stuff we have to deal with too!

So the first part about being good enough is easily summed up in Matthew.

Matthew 6:30-33 (MSG)

“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.”

I say that because look, it says if God is gonna pay attention to the tiny little wild flowers in fields that no one will ever even see, like how much more is he going to be with you. PEOPLE SEE YOU ON THE DAILY. I just foiled any argument you had in that arena! BAM!

Ok, now onto knowing if your dreams are from Jesus.

1. Test it against the word of God and see

1 Thessalonians 5:21 (ESV)

“But test everything; hold fast what is good.”

Psalm 34:8 (ESV)

“Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!”

James 1:17 (ESV)

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”

So right there, test it against what God says, hang onto the good stuff, God is the good stuff and he’ll give you the best stuff.

2. If it doesn’t align with Gods will run far away from it…

Proverbs 28:26 (ESV)

“Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered”

All I have to say to that one is LOL. If you trust in yourself you’re literally a fool and if you trust in God and walk in his wisdom, you’ll be delivered! That sounds like a good deal to me!

So at the end of the day you may be terrified out of your mind about your dreams but the formula is as simple as giving everything to God and listening to what he says about it and then letting him give you the drive to accomplish them. See what I said though, the formula is simple, it is not easy; letting go of the control we think we have is not an easy task but it is definitely doable.

I should stop writing now before this gets way too long to read! I do that some times, but hey, I love to write. I love every single person reading this, and while I cannot give you opportunities to follow your dreams, I fully believe that you can accomplish them. You are amazing.

XoXo,

Brunette Adventurer

On the Brink of Greatness

What do you do when you’re afraid of something good?

That’s a pretty loaded question isn’t it? Because why would you be afraid of something good, but deep down I think its something we all struggle with, even if it’s only a little bit. It’s also weird because if you say yes there’s a slight tinge of guilt for simply having something good but not being sure how to deal with it because you’re afraid.

Last Sunday at church, Shoreline Dallas, Pastor Earl was bringing the word per usual and he said something that really stuck out to me. He said, “Even knowing you’re called can be terrifying.” Then he went onto say that you may feel it in your gut that you’re not here to simply exist, you’re here to do something, something big.

So I’m sitting there like gosh that’s me. I know for 100% fact that I’m here for a purpose, because if I wasn’t I would have died when I was 5 and in a life altering car wreck, or probably even countless other times. The thing is that even though I know for sure, deep in my gut, I’m still scared.

Literally today, 7/09/15, I was offered 3 jobs and they’re all awesome jobs but each one is very different. I’ve been praying and praying and praying for months that my moment would come, I just didn’t expect it to be with so many doors and options. So while this is phenomenal and a total answer to my prayers for the last 7 months, IT’S TERRIFYING. And not like the there’s-a-ghost-behind-that-door terrifying but the kind where you’re jumping out of an airplane to skydive and the chord to your parachute won’t release even though you keep tugging at it in desperation.

I feel sort of awful for saying that because there are people struggling with problems such as the loss of a loved one, job, sickness or any number of things, but I feel that we truly forget that God sees every struggle as the same. He cares about each of us more than himself. Whether it’s being afraid of your big break or being broken, he cares.

But, that still raises the question, what do you do when you’re afraid of something good?

This is the answer; you do exactly what you would do if you were afraid of something bad! That’s so crazy right?! You give everything to God, literally every thing; your fear, your feelings of inadequacy, your what-ifs, your failures, ALL OF IT.

Joshua 1:9 (ESV)

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

I like that this scripture says, “Wherever you go” because wherever is an all-encompassing word; it could mean from the top of your mountain to the bottom of your sea. I LOVE THAT. So not only does it mean God is with you in the bad fear it means he’s also with you in the good fear. That’s crazy, good fear? Good fear is like getting cold feet on your wedding day, or feeling like you’re going to puke on everyone while giving the biggest performance of your life. It’s good because you know you’re on the brink of greatness, but that’s what’s terrifying. Some times the fear can be good.

Ok, so put yourself in one of those situations, the kind that’s good but scary. What would you tell yourself to do? I know for myself, having suffered from depression and anxiety for a number of years, I would sit down and take a series of deep breaths. I would rest, I would calm down, and I would be still.

All of those sound quite similar, but they’re quite different, however different the concepts may be the overall idea is simple, we need to rest in God. We need to rest in him, IN EVERY SITUATION.

Exodus 33:14 (ESV)

“And he said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

Matthew 11:28-30 (ESV)

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

I just love that God doesn’t discriminate against our issues; he welcomes us all with open arms. I also think that it’s extremely important to realize that he cares just as much about a small scrape as he does the loss of a limb. I’ve said it before, give it all to God. With him in charge, every single failure has a purpose!

I love you all, and I hope you have an amazing week. Whether you’re facing something good or bad, your fear is unnecessary, give it to God. You’re worth it.

XoXo,

Brunette Adventurer

Besties

A wise friend once told me:

“You should write for like an hour. Just vomit all of your thoughts – unfiltered – uncensored…”

My response was something along the lines of being terrified to do so because I was afraid of what I would say. I was and am afraid to let the deepest parts of my soul out into the open. I’m afraid that I might actually realize something that I may not have been prepared to see.

Isn’t it crazy to think that every single person has those pieces of us that we want to keep locked away simply because were afraid of meeting the person inside of us. What if that person isn’t whom we thought, what if that person needs a lot of help, what if that person is too far-gone? The possibilities for who that person may be are endless, but none of those possibilities matter. The vulnerability in coming to terms is what matters.

So many times, we hide how we feel because we know that we aren’t ok, and the truth is, ITS OK TO NOT BE OK. It really is. It’s ok to not have all the answers, to not be in control, to not be confident. It is 100% ok.

I know that for me, it’s really hard to admit that because I want to be strong and I don’t want to “burden” my friends and family when I feel myself slipping away. Because you know, they’re going through stuff too and I just don’t want to stress them out even more. So, I’m the good person right? Bottling up all my issues so everybody else can be ok. In the words of Dwight Schrute, FALSE!

That does not make you a good person, it makes you an idiot, and I can say that because I’m like the queen of doing that!

The biggest issue is we forget when bottling up our pain is, that it’s ok to not be ok. God doesn’t ask us to be perfect all the time, he asks us to seek his help all the time. There are countless times in the bible where it says we’re gonna have crappy days and we’ll feel lost and alone. When we have to deal with all of that it’s vital that we push after God more than ever and rely on fellow believers to help hold us up.

Exodus 17:10-13

“Joshua did what Moses ordered in order to fight Amalek. And Moses, Aaron, and Hur went to the top of the hill. It turned out that whenever Moses raised his hands, Israel was winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, Amalek was winning. But Moses’ hands got tired. So they got a stone and set it under him. He sat on it and Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on each side. So his hands remained steady until the sun went down. Joshua defeated Amalek and its army in battle.”

I have been learning a lot recently, that no matter how awful I feel or how awful my friends may feel, we are always better when we are pushing each other toward God. It’s so true to say that we’re better together, because we truly are!

I believe that having relationships centered on God is one reason we are here, because God desires to have a relationship with us, and the other ones we have are just for bringing us closer to him.

There is one question I always try to ask myself regarding any type of relationship:

Is so-and-so pushing me closer to God?

If the answer is no then I know I should probably step back a little, but if the answer is yes then praise the King because it’s a blessing to have that kind of relationship! The reason I ask myself this is because of the saying “show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” I’m aware that everybody’s mom probably yelled that at them when leaving the house in high school, but moms are pretty smart and in this case, very right! I cant tell you how many times in my own life that I’ve seen this ring true, in big and small ways.

If you know me, you know that I’m not the biggest fan of using curse words just for the sole reason I feel they sound exuberantly unintelligent and because they are offensive to a large percentage of the population. Buttttt if I hang around someone who curses on the regular then I start to pick of that habit and before you know it I’m littering my frustrated conversations with curses. Not only is this scenario true but also, there are so many other ways I see this saying play out.

Proverbs 27:17 (MSG)

“You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another.”

When we surround ourselves with people who push us to be better, to be the people we were created to be, we could do nothing but succeed.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (ESV)

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

I leave you with one of my favorite friendship quotes of all times…

“But in Friendship, being free of all that, we think we have chosen our peers. In reality, a few years’ difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another, posting to different regiments, the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting—any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances. A secret Master of the Ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples “Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,” can truly say to every group of Christian friends “You have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another.” The Friendship is not a reward for our discrimination and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each the beauties of all the others. They are no greater than the beauties of a thousand other men; by Friendship God opens our eyes to them. They are, like all beauties, derived from Him, and then, in a good Friendship, increased by Him through the Friendship itself, so that it is His instrument for creating as well as for revealing.”

― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

 

I know that my posts have been few and far between but just know that I don’t write unless I feel that something is burning with in my soul to be let out. I love you all and I hope you have an amazing week!

XoXo,

Brunette Adventurer

Pointless, Preconceived Notions

Have you ever put an idea in your own head of how something is “supposed to” go, or have you let other people give you those “supposed to” ideas? Probably, lets be honest, if you said no, you’re lying.

Why aren’t things going this way? Why didn’t this happen? Why doesn’t so & so do this? Why aren’t I doing this?

There is an endless amount of questions floating around causing disarray in our lives. Since we are all aware of that because we always have no clue why something didn’t go the way we schemed up in our mind, I believe it’s our fault. What, you may say? Nope. It is. It’s our fault. We have all of these preconceived notions in the form of unattainable expectations.

The reason I say that is because, they’re our own ideas of what we think will be the best possible outcome of any given situation. Or our moms, or our math teacher, or the cool dude on social media that’s only 25 and has already written a book about his life. Either way, we created these ideas because we think we know best.

Now as somebody who has lived a life of countless failed expectations let me tell you what I’ve learned, I DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING, I DO NOT KNOW BEST, AND I SURE AS HECK SHOULDN’T THINK I SHOULD BE IN CHAREGE…. But neither should you.

When I was 15 I legitimately believed that I would marry Nick Jonas, because I had met him a few times and he smiled at me. I’m not joking. Now I look back at 22, and am I married to him because he smiled at me a few times? NO I AM NOT. He’s a pop star, he gets paid to smile.

Ok, first of all I am aware that is a super ridiculous example, but there are so many others:

1. Did I go to the college I wanted and graduate with the degree I had planned? NOPE.
2. Am I married? NOPE
3. Do I have a well paying job? NOPE
4. Have I been able to travel to all the continents already? NOPE.
5. Am I the person everyone said I would be? NO WAY JOSE.

And I could probably write about 4 trillion more other questions just about my own life, but that’s not what we’re actually “supposed to” do. The only thing we actually need to and have to do is chase after God and HIS DESIRES, not ours.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”

Psalm 37:23 (ESV)

“The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way;”

Psalm 32:8 (ESV)

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you”

I really like those verses especially Psalm 37:23 because it basically says that when we delight in Gods ways he will show us what we need to do, where we need to go, and the people we should do it with. That’s a load off, huh?

The only thing we’re “supposed to” do is let God plan everything. He has the best, most amazingly phenomenal plans any way.

1 Corinthians 2:9 (ESV)

“But, as it is written, ‘What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him’—“

One thing I can tell you about my life is, the moment I decided to stop trying to make my plans a reality is the moment that amazing things started to happen. I may not be able to answer all the questions I had for my life with my preconceived notions, but I can answer them with realities that are substantially better, because they were Gods plan and not mine.

1. Did I go to the college I wanted and graduate with the degree I had planned? NOPE, but I got one of the best experiences of my life, met life long friends, and learned my passions because I waited to finish pursuing my degree.
2. Am I married? NOPE, but “one day my prince will come,” and I know that instead of forcing my hand to live up to the standards southern society has set for me that he will be exactly who God has planned.
3. Do I have a well paying job? NOPE, but I have an amazing internship that will help me pursue my God given dreams and I know God will provide me with the right job at the exact moment he intended.
4. Have I been able to travel to all the continents already? NOPE, but I’ve been able to go to so many more places than most other people, plus I still have tons of adventures to look forward to.
5. Am I the person everyone said I would be? NO WAY JOSE, but I love who I’m becoming and I’m finally ok with myself and who God created me to be; that’s substantially better than living up to other peoples expectations.

We need to stop being so consumed in what we think needs to happen and all the plans others have created for us, and just surrender them all to God. The scary part about that is, a lot of the time people in your life won’t understand. They’ll question your sanity; they may judge you; they may shun you, but God didn’t create us for a safe life, he created us for a miraculous adventure and why would we want to live a life anything short of that!

Just remember, you are amazing, your plans are not as cool as you think they are, and God has your back. It’s Wednesday so I hope you’re wearing pink. (Mean Girls reference) I love you all!

XoXo,

Brunette Adventurer

Whispers

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

(‭Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭2‬ NLT)

I haven’t written in a little while because inspiration has been sparse, but I was reminded of something by a a sweet girl named Anna. I was reminded that when you let God transform how you think from the worlds view to his, you’ll learn what he has for you. Now, I know I said that practically verbatim with the actual verse but that’s because the translation is spot on.

The problem with this though, is we assume God will straight up write it on the wall in sharpie or neon highlighter, or even blood like he did back in the day. While God can definitely do that, he probably won’t. He’ll probably whisper it in your ear like a precious secret, which for all intensive purposes, it is a precious secret.

I think it’s kind of a romantic idea. When you whisper you lean in closely, cheek to cheek, all of your attention on the words, muttered under the breath of the other party. Thats intimate. God wants intimacy with us. He desires for us to be close to his heart. He wants a deep-seeded, eternal, romantic entanglement with us. How amazing is that? The creator of the universe wants us to tell him our deepest thoughts, (even though he already knows) he wants us to want him.

Insert Cheap Trick *I want you to want me, I need you to need me…*

Along the process of transformation one crazy thing is, you can’t learn about something or someone you don’t listen to/for. Like I said, God wants us to want him, but it’s kind of hard to want someone you know nothing about… How do you go about changing that? You talk to them, and get to know them!

TALK TO GOD, GET TO KNOW HIM. SPEND TIME WITH HIM!!!

Guess what happens when you start spending a lot of time with some one? You start picking up their mannerisms and habits. That’s why your mom always said “show me your friends, I’ll show you your future.” When you spend time with God, he rubs off on you.

“Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.”
(‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭11‬:‭1‬ ESV)

Paul said it right there, we should imitate Christ. When we imitate Christ our will becomes aligned with his and his will is the ULTIMATE!! Did you catch what I said there? When we let God transform us he puts his will in our hearts, so his desires become our desires.

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.”(‭Psalm‬ ‭37‬:‭4-5‬ ESV)

Read that. Think about it along with that I just said…. God transforms you, his desires become yours. He only wants what’s best for you because he loves you. How freaking cool is that?

Every good and perfect gift comes from God if you only seek a relationship with him. So cool. I could ramble on about this for days on end but I think it would be more effective for you to let you discover his love and will for you guys lives!!

Go to openbible.com and search for “Gods will” tons more verses will pop up!

I love you all, so much. You’re seriously spectacular. I hope you have an amazing week, I will cause I’m on vacation at the beach!!!!! Yeah buddy!

XoXo,
Brunette Adventurer

Dear Beloved,

This post is solely dedicated to the t-shirt line that I just started.

I want to give a little background on the idea behind the Dear Beloved, t-shirt.

It’s simple, I want people to know and realize that they are dearly beloved by our creator.

The idea is that God is writing you a love letter because you are his dear beloved. This is to say that your worth and value are priceless. This basic design for the t-shirt came to me one night as I was reading in Song of Solomon when I realized that not only was that a letter to Solomon’s beloved but it was also a letter from God to us. Many people don’t know how amazing they are, they don’t know they’re loved nor do they feel like they’re loved. This t-shirt gives people the opportunity to give back and share love with people who feel undervalued and worthless; those who are trafficked. To start out with a percentage of the proceeds will be donated to relief efforts and as our brand grows a larger percent will be donated.

I want to also give people the opportunity to share stories of Gods love either in your own life or in the life of someone you know! If you have a story you want to share you can submit it at dearbelovedclothing@gmail.com and once the website/blog is up and running your story can be shared.

The shirts will currently be sold off of Etsy.

Attention, Attention

Last night I was sitting with my bae (Netflix) and chillin on all 29734598693 of my various social media accounts because I didn’t feel well when I realized something about myself and pretty much every other person in the 15-30 age bracket. We crave attention. We crave interactions. We crave love.

Most of you people are probably reading this thinking, “OMG that’s so obvious. Of course everybody wants to be loved, duh Bridgette.” The thing is, you’ve probably all realized it deep down in your soul, but have never said it out loud. I honestly think that our desire for intimate attention is one of the downfalls of our generation. We’ve created these virtual realities that we are no longer capable of truly knowing people and who they are at their core, which is crazy because that’s the one thing we all want most. To be known for everything we are and then loved without hesitation.

Know what’s really cool though; God does that. He loves without reserve. That’s such a hard concept to grasp, I’m aware, but it’s the truth. I struggle with it every single day, but the struggle to know God love is worth it.

There are so many people who think that God cant love them because of what’s happened to them or what they’ve done, but those people are wrong. God literally sent his son to be brutally murdered for us. If that’s not love then you’re crazy wrong. Sometimes we forget all the stuff he does for us, but we shouldn’t. There are so many places in the Bible where it says he loves us extravagantly…

Isaiah 49:16 (ESV)

“Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me.”

Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

John 3:16 (ESV)

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

Lets go back to the part where we don’t think we’re good enough because of who we used to be. So, I’m aware that lots of people who read my blog probably don’t know a lot about me or they only know me a little bit, but I feel like I’m supposed to share a little bit about who I used to be. Now, I didn’t have a totally awful past, but it wasn’t perfect either. I thought for the longest time that nobody would ever love me for who I really am. I mean, I knew that my family loved me, but I was scared of being my complete self and airing all of my dirty laundry. I became a professional at hiding and building walls so no one could get close.

The thing is, some stuff went down when I was in middle school that totally skewed my perceptions on love and life, and all that jazz. I became severely depressed, anxious, and angry. Those things in turn made me very mean. I always compare myself to the meanness level of Regina George on steroids. Funny, but true. I honestly hated pretty much everything, it sucked, but Jesus loved me so much that he was planting seeds the whole time.

I thought that the only way I could feel love was if I got the attention from guys and my peers. I got really good at manipulating the people around me and letting them just close enough till I could rip them to pieces and run away to hide behind the walls I had built. Let me tell you, that’s not a very nice way to live. In fact, I hated every minute of it. The moment that really changed how I thought about myself was during my sophomore year of college. I was hanging out with one of my really good friends and she was telling me about some guy problems she had been having, when I realized that everything I was telling her was also true about myself. I was worth it, God loved me, I was valuable. After that moment I started making a conscious effort to change, it took a long time, and I still have to make an effort. It’s gotten much easier though.

If you ask me, it’s been one of the best decisions that I’ve ever made. We as a young people need to focus on not seeking the wrong kind of attention because we don’t think we’re worth of the right kind. Here’s the thing, just focus on making friends, like genuine friends. Get to know who people really are, deep in their core.

About three weeks ago I was having coffee with a wonderful friend of mine and she was telling me about a study that was done to see if we could make love happen between people who just met. Like, if we could create love by asking a serious of questions that get deeper as the list goes on.

Here’s the link.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html?_r=1

So I read these questions and came to the conclusion that these questions are pretty average questions for people who have known each other for a long time. I actually think that these questions are good to ask anybody because they help you learn about whom people really are. Love isn’t just something that happens romantically, but it also exists on a platonic level. I think a great example of that is David and Jonathan in the bible. Check out 1 Samuel 18-20.

This is just a little part of that but I wanted to share it just in case you don’t actually go read it… haha

David and Jonathan’s Friendship

“18 As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. 2 And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. 3 Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. 4 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt. 5 And David went out and was successful wherever Saul sent him, so that Saul set him over the men of war. And this was good in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul’s servants.”

For all you nerds out there, another super great example of love in a friendship is Frodo and Sam from Lord of The Rings. They trek all the way to Mordor together and even when one of them wants to give up on the other, they never give up. Talk about best friends for life!

Sooooooooooooooooooooo, let’s go back to the beginning; we all crave attention, but we need the right kind. I want to challenge everybody to really try to get to know the people around you, but not for yourself. Get to know them because that’s what we should always do. Get to know them, yourself, and most importantly God. He’s kind of the coolest and I know he’d like it, but lets be honest, you’d like it too.

This weekend is Valentines Day, so all you people out there, I love you. You’re amazing and even if you’re lonely don’t go searching for immediate attention, just read the Bible. You’re all beautiful.

XoXo,

Brunette Adventurer